On finishing Erdrich’s book I looked back at the pages with
turned corners where there was something to reconsider. First, “I remember my
great grand mother… when she had aged past the reaches of her own mind.” If I
age past the reaches of my own mind, will I be agitated about it. What part of
the mind remains to worry about what is lost? And then I found this; “…over the
years I have acquired and reshuffled my beliefs and doubts about whether we
live on after death in any shape beyond the molecular level…” We all spend time
considering the urge to not end at the end of our lives. And yet, if it is all
over with the last breath, if nothing remains to consider what is lost, where
is the losing? While re-reading, I began to feel tension at the back of my
eyes. Tears? Perhaps it was just the fact that I am leaving Two Dot for 7 days,
which is a reminder that in a month I will leave it for the long winter of work
in Seattle. What would it be like to have these long days never ending? To have
time where I didn’t consider losing time?
